Petrified is the word I have always used to describe my fear of pregnancy and labor. I still think it is one of the most dangerous things a woman can do. Not all of my fears are based on real facts. However, women can suffer from preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, RH incompatibility, hemorrhaging, ruptured placenta etc. Don't get me started I can scare anyone out of conceiving.
Now I knew when I dated my husband that having a family was really important and the first thing he said when I asked him about his goals for the future. I thought, "Oh man, I already really like this guy". So when I signed the marriage licence there was an understood addendum stating that I would do my best to provide offspring. I had always hoped to adopt for selfless and selfish reasons. We started trying at around 3 years of marriage. I am a super type A planner. Due to all of my irrational fears, I over prepare. I went in for a full physical, blood work, ob/gyn -the works. I got the calendar, the thermometer and the vitamins. I checked the mucus etc. It was hard work. We tried month after month with no success. I thought I was home free. We gave it the good old college try and then on the 11th month-Bingo. I took four tests to be sure.
Next step find a good midwife.- What? You a midwife? Aren't you "petrified" of the whole thing? Most people couldn't believe that I had chosen to use a midwife. The truth is that I believe in going to specialists for everything. Midwives deliver babies all day long and that is pretty much all they do. OB/gyns are busy doing lots of things-that scares me. The midwife experience is amazing. My visits were an hour long. I could ask all of the weird questions I had and express all of my fears. Their goal is to keep you healthy to avoid preeclampsia and diabetes. They always had plenty of time for me and made me feel that I was strong enough to push a baby out.
My contractions started around midnight a few days after a hurricane. I went to the center by candlelight. I was only 2 centimeters so I went back home. I decided to get up at 6am, since I hadn't slept for even 5 minutes. I washed some dishes and made cuban coffee for our parents who had stayed over. We went back to the center to stay. My husband picked up bagels and coffee for everyone. I had my favorite asiago with sun dried tomato cream cheese and decaf pumpkin spice latte. The coolest difference in a midwife birth is that you can eat and drink while in labor. I walked around talked with my family and friends the whole time. I didn't actually get in bed until it was time to push. Being able to walk and slow dance with my husband helped me through the contractions. They build gradually so it is totally bearable. Once it becomes unbearable it is time to push. Now pushing is hard. I kinda lost my cool there and started pushing with my entire body. This is not the right way. I burst capillaries in my face, neck and eyes. Note to self-next time concentrate and use diaphragm. Honestly I just really didn't think I was gonna be able to get a whole human being out of my vagina. Anyone can do it. You don't have to be stronger than anyone or braver. I am actually really scared to go to hospitals. I would be tied to the bed and monitored (all the beeping) this would all freak me out. Having a baby is not an illness and is usually not an emergency. Check the statistics on emergencies in hospital births vs. midwives and you would choose this way as well. If you would like for information on learning your birthing choices visit http://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/
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