This Sucks!

When my son was born I wanted to wait the full 6 weeks before introducing a pacifier. I didn't want nipple confusion. Anyone who has tried this can attest to how difficult it is. I was weak, oh so weak. I quickly started shoving that thing in his mouth. There was only one problem. He wouldn't suck. He hated it, spit it out and screamed his little heart out. Every time I put it his mouth it seemed like I was stabbing him on the tongue. I went from trying to wait the six weeks to trying any pacifier I could find. I even researched and ordered a
Soothie from the Internet, this was before they were readily available at most stores. The boy wouldn't take to any of them. It may be hereditary. I also never took to a pacifier. Perhaps we could research this.
He is now four and has never sucked on a pacifier and I am sooo glad. I know some Mom's who still can't break their kids from the habit. If I ever have another child I'll suffer those first few months again. I think it was worth it. However, I will keep you posted since I am weak, oh so weak.

Rock a bye Baby

The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Karp was a huge lifesaver. I strongly recommend it to all new parents. This is a must have on your registry. My neighbors lent it to me when my son was born and I am still using its techniques.

Getting my son to sleep and giving me a break was priority number one. Well, you know making sure he was safe and fed was important too. The book teaches you to reproduce the conditions of the uterus to help your child relax and sleep. White noise and movement are the key. I used hair dryers, shushing him etc. We would place our radio dial to white noise, this became our favorite station. However as he got a little older this lost some of its effectiveness. And then one day we discovered something wonderful, heavy rock had the same effect. I don't mean 50's rock or Bon Jovi type rock. I am talking about Metallica. It is a hilarious phenomenon to watch. Say it is nap time and I'm driving or I'm driving home late from my in laws, I put on his PJ's diaper and our local rock station. As soon as I put the music on he gets really quiet and then stares off into the distance as if he was in a trance. Slowly his eyes begin to close, head bobs and he is out for the count. This does not work with slow rock , jazz or any other type of music. It also needs to have heavy electric guitar. One song that works like a charm is Animal, I don't know performs it. I think it is Nickleback. I would love to recommend this to anyone, but I can't say for sure the rock isn't going to rot his brain, but for now it is music to my ears.

Sleep Deprivation Techniques

Sleep Glorious Sleep. My dear old friend. When will you be back?

I remember sleeping in late, laying in bed with my husband and asking him. "Are you sure you want to give this up?" Wow, that seems like ages ago. Now we negotiate who will go get our son out of bed and who will get 20 more minutes of sleep. He always calls for Mommy, so 8 out of 10 times I gotta go. Sleep is just a faded memory.

I started waking up every two hours from my second month of pregnancy. Something was pressing against my bladder and I had to go. I waddled over and tried not to miss the toilet. My son did not sleep more than two hours at a time until he was 10 months old. At that point he was only sleeping a whopping 4 hours at night. As soon as I put him in his crib I would run to my bed and try to get as much shut eye as possible. He started sleeping through the night at 12 months. Do the math. That is 7 plus 12 months=over a year of no sleep. Some people can do with just a few hours of sleep a night. I am not one of them. My sweet salvation and the best piece of baby gear that any mother can get is a swing. This is the best invention ever for pacifying a crying baby and for extending the sleep time. I value every minute. Even as I write this I am keeping an eye on the camera that is focused on his bed and as he moves I say a little prayer to God that he does not wake up. Now he is a fantastic sleeper but an early riser so the trick is to get him to sleep earlier because no matter what time he goes to sleep, he wakes up at the same time everyday. I haven't needed an alarm clock in 4 years.

I have come to grips with the fact that motherhood means never getting a good night sleep again. Yawn

I wish all of the new Moms out there sweet dreams!

When Are Your Parents Going to Pick You Up?

I've always loved children. I like to play and be silly. I love to teach them new things. I love that soon their parents will be coming to pick them up.

I remember those first few days and first few weeks with my newborn son. The days seemed like they would never end. He was a good baby. It was me, it wasn't him. I'm an only child and used to the world revolving around me. I wasn't spoiled. My mom was a single Mom and we had just what we needed, but I wasn't used to having to spend every minute concerned about someone else's needs. Everyday was about breastfeeding, playing, changing diapers, taking a walk outside. I could barely do anything else. No time for showers, peeing, eating and certainly no sleep. It is true that as the days pass you fall more and more in love with your child. This is a mechanism designed by God to ensure that we don't kill our young like other species do. Everyday I looked into his eyes I loved him more and more but for those first few days; Day turned into night and night into day. I just kept going as if somehow I knew that soon his parents would come and pick him up.

You're Pushin' It!

Petrified is the word I have always used to describe my fear of pregnancy and labor. I still think it is one of the most dangerous things a woman can do. Not all of my fears are based on real facts. However, women can suffer from preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, RH incompatibility, hemorrhaging, ruptured placenta etc. Don't get me started I can scare anyone out of conceiving.

Now I knew when I dated my husband that having a family was really important and the first thing he said when I asked him about his goals for the future. I thought, "Oh man, I already really like this guy". So when I signed the marriage licence there was an understood addendum stating that I would do my best to provide offspring. I had always hoped to adopt for selfless and selfish reasons. We started trying at around 3 years of marriage. I am a super type A planner. Due to all of my irrational fears, I over prepare. I went in for a full physical, blood work, ob/gyn -the works. I got the calendar, the thermometer and the vitamins. I checked the mucus etc. It was hard work. We tried month after month with no success. I thought I was home free. We gave it the good old college try and then on the 11th month-Bingo. I took four tests to be sure.

Next step find a good midwife.- What? You a midwife? Aren't you "petrified" of the whole thing? Most people couldn't believe that I had chosen to use a midwife. The truth is that I believe in going to specialists for everything. Midwives deliver babies all day long and that is pretty much all they do. OB/gyns are busy doing lots of things-that scares me. The midwife experience is amazing. My visits were an hour long. I could ask all of the weird questions I had and express all of my fears. Their goal is to keep you healthy to avoid preeclampsia and diabetes. They always had plenty of time for me and made me feel that I was strong enough to push a baby out.

My contractions started around midnight a few days after a hurricane. I went to the center by candlelight. I was only 2 centimeters so I went back home. I decided to get up at 6am, since I hadn't slept for even 5 minutes. I washed some dishes and made cuban coffee for our parents who had stayed over. We went back to the center to stay. My husband picked up bagels and coffee for everyone. I had my favorite asiago with sun dried tomato cream cheese and decaf pumpkin spice latte. The coolest difference in a midwife birth is that you can eat and drink while in labor. I walked around talked with my family and friends the whole time. I didn't actually get in bed until it was time to push. Being able to walk and slow dance with my husband helped me through the contractions. They build gradually so it is totally bearable. Once it becomes unbearable it is time to push. Now pushing is hard. I kinda lost my cool there and started pushing with my entire body. This is not the right way. I burst capillaries in my face, neck and eyes. Note to self-next time concentrate and use diaphragm. Honestly I just really didn't think I was gonna be able to get a whole human being out of my vagina. Anyone can do it. You don't have to be stronger than anyone or braver. I am actually really scared to go to hospitals. I would be tied to the bed and monitored (all the beeping) this would all freak me out. Having a baby is not an illness and is usually not an emergency. Check the statistics on emergencies in hospital births vs. midwives and you would choose this way as well. If you would like for information on learning your birthing choices visit http://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/

Invasion of the Body Snatchers

Many women have always dreamt of what it would be like to have their very own baby growing inside of them. These women usually close their eyes hold their bellies and smile as they imagine the sensation. That was not the case for me. I remember the first time I saw a pregnant belly. One of my friend's cousin lifted up her shirt. I could barely look for more than a second. I quickly looked away. All I could see was how stretched out she was. She looked like her skin had mutated and she would soon explode.

Every time I think of pregnancy I think of that scene in Aliens when the alien bursts through Sigourney Weavers stomach. There was nothing beautiful or dreamy about that. To imagine having an entire human being inside of me. Yuk! Another set of legs and arms. This was pretty gross.

I will admit that having a real life baby inside of me was pretty cool, but scary at the same time. My biggest fear was that my belly button would pop out. Thinking of this really grossed me out. I did my best to eat right and stay on target for my weight to avoid this as much as I could. I imagined that if my belly button would pop out, then the alien hand wasn't far behind and all of my intestines would just pour out onto the floor.

Since I kept my size pretty small all of the babies movements were clearly visible. Around the sixth month, when he moved my entire belly moved. There were many times that I though for sure he would kick his way out. It was quite the sight. Thank God he never burst through, but he is an exceptional kicker to this day.

Boob Job

Boob job. You may need one after years of breastfeeding, but I'm not talking about the surgical procedure. I mean, your boobs will be your full time job. Before my son was born I was really scared of the whole breastfeeding thing. I couldn't possible imagine that milk would be able to come out of these things and could you imagine how much force that would take. I was not looking forward to it. While I was pregnant I was literally nauseated every time I though about it. I mean it. I thought about breastfeeding and I would almost loose my lunch.

Although it was not my idea of a nice afternoon, I decided that I would make the sacrifice and do it. I knew that the health benefits outweighed my apprehension. I took the classes and watched the videos. As soon as my son had made the journey down the canal and out of my body and as soon as he was clean the midwife wanted to attach him to me. The first latch was not so bad, I was feeling pretty good about myself but a little queasy.

A few hours later I was ready to go home and care for a newborn. The first few days you are actually not producing and milk just colostrum, although the worlds best super food, not as filling as a full meal. He would not stop crying. I would move him from one boob to the next with no luck. After being indoctrinated by my midwife, I was determined not to give him formula or have him drink from a baby bottle to prevent nipple confusion. I was exhausted and delirious. My husband kept suggesting formula. I kept trying to stay strong. I gave in sometime around 1am and my husband drove to his brother's house to pick some up. I felt so guilty. I had let my son down. I wasn't enough for him.

All of this started a downward spiral for my breastfeeding confidence. My son was hungry every 45 minutes and didn't seem to be satisfied. I kept thinking that I wasn't producing enough milk. Everyone assured me that I was making enough and this was normal. I moved him from one boob to the other non-stop. I wasn't even wearing a top all day. I felt like one big boob. I ate with him on my boob. I tried not to get any crumbs on him. I kept them full of Lanolin to sooth the redness and pain. He wasn't gaining any weight and and he seemed dehydrated. I would keep going back to my midwife and they would weigh him before and after feedings. Soon we realized that it was me. I was only producing 1 and half ounces from both boobs. I tried milk thistle drops, Malta, oatmeal water, teas, malted beer, but nothing worked. I started supplementing with formula and felt like a failure. I didn't think it was fair that I was so committed but couldn't do what I had set out to do.

I slowly gave in and decided to stop the guilt and just do what was right for my son. I kept putting him to the breast for six months and supplemented in between with formula. This worked for us. I kept this going all of this time because it is the minimum time needed for both of us to gain the health benefits. After all that pain and suffering we were going to stay with it.

At six months he had really lost interest in the boobs and started trying to bite me. That was my cue. I think after all of that, breastfeeding was worth it, but the guilt was not. Not producing enough milk did not make me less of a mother and doing what was right for my son's health was all that truly mattered.