You would cry too if it happened to you.
Potty training can make everyone cry both child and parent.
I remember moms who said they would use mini M&'Ms to get their kids to use the potty. I would outwardly say, "that's great I'll keep it in mind", but inwardly say, "I'm never gonna do that!" I'll use stars and encouragement. It worked on and off. More off the potty than on.
Then one day, grandma tried Raisinettes. They worked like a charm. I was so upset that I was using chocolate but so happy that it was so effective. So we stocked up on Raisinettes and cut back on diapers.
However, he still wore diapers at night. He didn't want to anymore, but I just wasn't ready. Not ready to get up in the middle of the night again to take him to the potty or change wet sheets.
Once I was ready I invested in piddle pads (doggy wee wee pads from petco). This at least saved the mattress. This time I didn't mess around with the stars and charts first and went straight to the chocolate. So then we stocked up on oreos and finally stopped buying diapers. Not a bad trade. But I guess I should start saving for the cavities and dentist bills.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Fear Factor
"I brought you into this world and I can take you out."
Words that for years, I really believed to be true.
Whats the problem with kids today? (wow I sound like a 50's television dad) The truth is... they have no fear.
My husband and I worked with teenagers at our church for over 4 years. And there is nothing scarier than a teen who has no fear of their parents. I remember one teen who would lock herself in her room and runaway for days. If her parents raised their voices or threatened her in any way she would call the police on them. This was terrifying and hopeless.
My life was totally different. You would be hard pressed to find someone more of a goody two shoes than me. I never talked back to my mother. I have never tried an illeagal drug. I knew one thing for sure. If my mother ever caught me doing any one of those things, I was dead. I had lots of opportunity. My mother worked and I was home alone a lot. The second thing I knew for sure was that my mom had installed camera's all over the house. She didn't really. I think. The truth is I really can't be sure and I'm still a little afraid of her.
I certainly didn't want my son to turn out like that teenager and the thought of that gives me the chills.
The key is to find the balance between loving and fear. There are times to be "lovey dovey" mommy and there are times to be "scary" mommy.
What do I mean by that? Your kids have to know that you are capable of doing what you said you would. Concistency is the key. Don't say something you can't actually do. So for example if you say,"If you don't pick up these toys off of the floor I will throw them away." Guess what? you need to throw them away. Crazy? perhaps? You don't have to do things like this too many times. You just have to do it unexpectedly here and there.
Now lets put things in perspective. A disclaimer: I am not a psychologist. I can't confirm without a shadow of a doubt that I am not a little traumatized from my own childhood. What I can assert is that my fear kept me from doing things that I am sure I would regret today and I have seen what lack of fear can do.
So every now and then a beloved toy may or may not end up in the garbage. You can never be too sure.
Words that for years, I really believed to be true.
Whats the problem with kids today? (wow I sound like a 50's television dad) The truth is... they have no fear.
My husband and I worked with teenagers at our church for over 4 years. And there is nothing scarier than a teen who has no fear of their parents. I remember one teen who would lock herself in her room and runaway for days. If her parents raised their voices or threatened her in any way she would call the police on them. This was terrifying and hopeless.
My life was totally different. You would be hard pressed to find someone more of a goody two shoes than me. I never talked back to my mother. I have never tried an illeagal drug. I knew one thing for sure. If my mother ever caught me doing any one of those things, I was dead. I had lots of opportunity. My mother worked and I was home alone a lot. The second thing I knew for sure was that my mom had installed camera's all over the house. She didn't really. I think. The truth is I really can't be sure and I'm still a little afraid of her.
I certainly didn't want my son to turn out like that teenager and the thought of that gives me the chills.
The key is to find the balance between loving and fear. There are times to be "lovey dovey" mommy and there are times to be "scary" mommy.
What do I mean by that? Your kids have to know that you are capable of doing what you said you would. Concistency is the key. Don't say something you can't actually do. So for example if you say,"If you don't pick up these toys off of the floor I will throw them away." Guess what? you need to throw them away. Crazy? perhaps? You don't have to do things like this too many times. You just have to do it unexpectedly here and there.
Now lets put things in perspective. A disclaimer: I am not a psychologist. I can't confirm without a shadow of a doubt that I am not a little traumatized from my own childhood. What I can assert is that my fear kept me from doing things that I am sure I would regret today and I have seen what lack of fear can do.
So every now and then a beloved toy may or may not end up in the garbage. You can never be too sure.
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