Fear Factor

"I brought you into this world and I can take you out."

Words that for years, I really believed to be true. 

Whats the problem with kids today? (wow I sound like a 50's television dad)  The truth is... they have no fear. 

My husband and I worked with teenagers at our church for over 4 years.  And there is nothing scarier than a teen who has no fear of their parents.  I remember one teen who would lock herself in her room and runaway for days.  If her parents raised their voices or threatened her in any way she would call the police on them.  This was terrifying and hopeless.

My life was totally different.  You would be hard pressed to find someone more of a goody two shoes than me.  I never talked back to my mother. I have never tried an  illeagal drug.  I knew one thing for sure.  If my mother ever caught me doing any one of those things, I was dead.  I had lots of opportunity.  My mother worked and I was home alone a lot.  The second thing I knew for sure was that my mom had installed camera's all over the house.  She didn't really.  I think.  The truth is I really can't be sure and I'm still a little afraid of her.

I certainly didn't want my son to turn out like that teenager and the thought of that gives me the chills. 

The key is to find the balance between loving and fear.  There are times to be "lovey dovey" mommy and there are times to be "scary" mommy. 

What do I mean by that?  Your kids have to know that you are capable of doing what you said you would.  Concistency is the key.  Don't say something you can't actually do.  So for example if you say,"If you don't pick up these toys off of the floor I will throw them away."  Guess what? you need to throw them away.  Crazy? perhaps?  You don't have to do things like this too many times.  You just have to do it unexpectedly here and there. 

Now lets put things in perspective.  A disclaimer:  I am not a psychologist.  I can't confirm without a shadow of a doubt that I am not a little traumatized from my own childhood.  What I can assert is that my fear kept me from doing things that I am sure I would regret today and I have seen what lack of fear can do.

So every now and then a beloved toy may or may not end up in the garbage.  You can never be too sure.